{"id":1511,"date":"2019-06-09T23:05:00","date_gmt":"2019-06-09T20:05:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/yesblog\/?p=1511"},"modified":"2024-01-03T00:12:37","modified_gmt":"2024-01-02T21:12:37","slug":"secilmemis-bolum-32","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-32\/","title":{"rendered":"Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 32"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"row\"><select onchange=\"document.location=this.value;\"\n            class=\"form-control pull-right\" style=\"background:#d7fcef; color:black; width:auto; min-width:200px; margin-right:20px;\">\n            <option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-1\/\" >Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 1<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-2\/\" >Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 2<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-3\/\" 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value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-41\/\" >Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 41<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-42\/\" >Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 42<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-43\/\" >Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 43<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-44\/\" >Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 44<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-45\/\" >Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 45<\/option><\/select><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Gecenin\nkeyfini Ceren \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131yordu. En \u00e7ok i\u00e7kiyi o i\u00e7mi\u015f, en \u00e7ok dansa o kalkm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\nOrtam\u0131n enerjisini art\u0131r\u0131yor, insanda kendini unuturcas\u0131na pistte hoplay\u0131p\nz\u0131plama iste\u011fi uyand\u0131r\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dans\npistinden kopup koltu\u011fa serilerek \u201cBardaki sar\u0131\u015f\u0131n azman beni kesiyor,\u201d diye\nba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131 gruba. \u00c7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar ve kahkahalar birbirine kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Restorandan\nberi bu \u015faka d\u00f6n\u00fcyordu aralar\u0131nda. Ceren\u2019in \u201cBu garson beni kesiyor,\u201d demesiyle\nba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 her \u015fey. Adam t\u0131knaz, altm\u0131\u015f ya\u015flar\u0131nda, burnunun ucunu bile\ng\u00f6remeyen biriydi. Ceren \u201cNe dersiniz, ciddiyse kul\u00fcbe \u00e7a\u011f\u0131ral\u0131m m\u0131?\u201d dedikten\nsonra \u015fu ana kadar en az on iki adam\u0131n k\u0131z\u0131 kesti\u011fine karar vermi\u015flerdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kahkaha\nfuryas\u0131 devam ederken, kendisini mutlu hissetti Elif. \u00c7ok g\u00fczel insanlarla\n\u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu. Hepsi hayat dolu, pozitif enerjisi olan yarat\u0131c\u0131 gen\u00e7lerdi. Bunda\nbiraz da Servet Bey\u2019in pay\u0131 vard\u0131. Olumlu enerji almad\u0131\u011f\u0131 kimseyle \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmamak\ngibi bir prensip edinmi\u015fti adam. \u201cG\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fc sizle ge\u00e7iriyorum, o y\u00fczden kar\u0131m\u0131\nse\u00e7ti\u011fimden daha \u00f6zenle se\u00e7tim sizi,\u201d diyordu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Herkes\nkendisini gecenin b\u00fcy\u00fcs\u00fcne kapt\u0131rm\u0131\u015fken, Zeynep nedense her zamankinden\nfarkl\u0131yd\u0131. B\u00fct\u00fcn ak\u015fam dalg\u0131n g\u00f6zlerle oturmu\u015f, kul\u00fcbe geldiklerinden beri de\ntedirginli\u011fini gizleyemez olmu\u015ftu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yan\u0131na\nsokulup, \u201c\u0130yi misin sen?\u201d diye sordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201c\u0130yiyim\ncan\u0131m. Ya sen, iyi misin?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201c\u0130yi\nolaca\u011f\u0131m.\u201d G\u00f6zlerindeki kararl\u0131l\u0131k, buna inanmaya ne \u00e7ok gereksinim duydu\u011funu\na\u00e7\u0131\u011fa \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cNe\nyapt\u0131?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Elif\nalayl\u0131 g\u00f6zlerle dans pistini seyrederek \u201cDalga ge\u00e7ti,\u201d dedi. \u0130\u00e7indeki k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131k\ncan\u0131n\u0131 ac\u0131t\u0131yordu. \u015ea\u015f\u0131rmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131, kabullenmi\u015fti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cO\nbizim tan\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fumuz Sinan de\u011fil Zeynep. Ba\u015fka birisi o. Hayat\u0131n\u0131n bir\ny\u0131l\u0131n\u0131 kaybetmi\u015f, kendisini koruyabilmek i\u00e7in herkese \u015f\u00fcpheyle yakla\u015fan yeni\nbir adam. Kazadan \u00f6nceki Sinan\u2019\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnerek hareket etmek bir hatayd\u0131.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cAma\nbiliyor, de\u011fil mi? Yani \u00f6ncesinde seninle olan durumu.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cBiliyor\nve bu ona hi\u00e7bir \u015fey ifade etmiyor.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Zeynep\nba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 elleri aras\u0131na alarak bir s\u00fcre bunu hazmetmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131p\nkul\u00fcb\u00fcn giri\u015fine bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, y\u00fcz\u00fc bembeyaz oldu. Korku dolu bir sesle \u201cBen bir\nhata yapm\u0131\u015f olabilirim Elif,\u201d diye f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bir\nanda diken \u00fcst\u00fcne ge\u00e7en Elif\u2019in g\u00f6zleri sorularla doluydu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cNe\ngibi bir hata?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Onun\nkayg\u0131l\u0131 g\u00f6zlerle bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerde ne g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc anlamak i\u00e7in d\u00f6n\u00fcp bakmas\u0131na gerek\nyoktu. Bedenindeki her h\u00fccre Sinan\u2019la ayn\u0131 atmosferi payla\u015fmakta oldu\u011funu\n\u00e7oktan biliyordu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Zeynep\u2019i\nseyretmeye devam ederek senaryonun gerisini tamamlamas\u0131 \u00e7ok da uzun s\u00fcrmedi. Zeynep\nonu buraya \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rm\u0131\u015f, Sinan da gelmi\u015f olmal\u0131yd\u0131. Yan\u0131nda birisiyle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Zorluklar\nlistesinin en alt\u0131na ula\u015fm\u0131\u015flard\u0131. Sinan r\u00fcyalar\u0131n\u0131 doldurmu\u015f, evinin her\nnoktas\u0131nda ya\u015fayan bir hayalet olmu\u015f, kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131klar\u0131nda ilgisizlik ve\na\u015fa\u011f\u0131lama becerisini de s\u0131ras\u0131yla Elif\u2019e uygulam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u015eimdi\ns\u0131ra en can ac\u0131tan a\u015famadayd\u0131. Elif onu ba\u015fka bir kad\u0131nla g\u00f6recek ve hayatta\nkalmay\u0131 ba\u015faracakt\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Zeynep\u2019e\ndikili g\u00f6zlerini yumdu. Zeynep t\u00fcm iyi niyetiyle onlar\u0131 bir araya getirmeye\n\u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu. Bunun i\u00e7in onu su\u00e7layamazd\u0131. \u015eimdi g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc olma zaman\u0131yd\u0131. Derin bir\nnefes ald\u0131. E\u011filip k\u0131z\u0131n yana\u011f\u0131na bir \u00f6p\u00fcc\u00fck b\u0131rakt\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cAlt\u0131ndan\nkalkar\u0131m, \u00fcz\u00fclme.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u0130\u00e7kisinden\nbir yudum al\u0131rken g\u00f6z\u00fc dans pistinin kenar\u0131ndaki \u00e7ifti yakalad\u0131. Sinan, yan\u0131nda\nmuhte\u015fem bir ye\u015fil elbise giymi\u015f k\u0131z\u0131l sa\u00e7l\u0131 bir kad\u0131nla ayakta duruyordu.\nKad\u0131n onun koluna girmi\u015f, hafif hareketlerle m\u00fczi\u011fe e\u015flik ediyordu. Lanet\nolsun, \u00e7ok g\u00fczel, \u00e7ok seksiydi. Sinan da siyah pantolonu, beyaz g\u00f6mle\u011fi ve yine\nsiyah ceketiyle \u2018bu y\u0131l\u0131n modas\u0131na damgas\u0131na vuran kreasyon\u2019 anonsu sonras\u0131nda\npistte ileri geri y\u00fcr\u00fcyecek gibiydi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>B\u00fcy\u00fck\nbir k\u0131zg\u0131nl\u0131k dalgas\u0131 bedenini ele ge\u00e7irirken, i\u00e7ki bo\u011faz\u0131na ka\u00e7t\u0131 ve \u00f6ks\u00fcrmeye\nba\u015flad\u0131. Ceren arkas\u0131ndan uzan\u0131p s\u0131rt\u0131na vururken \u201cYava\u015f i\u00e7 bebe\u011fim, bu gece\n\u00f6lm\u00fcyoruz,\u201d diyerek k\u0131k\u0131rdad\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Oh\nhay\u0131r, bu gece kesinlikle birisi \u00f6l\u00fcyordu. Elif, Sinan ya da K\u0131z\u0131l. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Demek\nb\u00f6yleymi\u015f onun se\u00e7imi, diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrken keskin bir ac\u0131 hissetti y\u00fcre\u011finde. Onlar\nyak\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu birbirlerine. Sadece uzaktan bakan biri bile bunu rahatl\u0131kla\ns\u00f6yleyebilirdi. Onlar denkti. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>B\u00fcy\u00fck\nbir umutsuzluk sard\u0131 i\u00e7ini. \u015eu an yan\u0131nda Elif duruyor olsayd\u0131, herkes\ngaripser, o g\u00fczel adam\u0131n kendi yan\u0131nda ne i\u015fi oldu\u011funu sorgulard\u0131. \u00dczerindeki\nk\u0131yafetlere bakt\u0131. Dar siyah bir pantolon, sar\u0131 bir g\u00f6mlek, topuksuz\nsandaletler. \u0130\u00e7indeki a\u015fa\u011f\u0131lanm\u0131\u015fl\u0131k duygusu y\u0131k\u0131c\u0131yd\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Baz\u0131\nger\u00e7ekler vard\u0131. Hayat\u0131n de\u011fi\u015fmez kurallar\u0131. G\u00fczeller g\u00fczellerle olurlard\u0131.\nSe\u00e7ilmemi\u015fler de kendi aralar\u0131nda da\u011f\u0131l\u0131yorlard\u0131 i\u015fte. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2018Hatayd\u0131,\u2019\ndiye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc. \u2018Onunla olabilece\u011fimi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmem bir hatayd\u0131\u2019. Birlikte olsalar\nbile zaman i\u00e7inde yetersizlikleri Sinan\u2019\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fcne daha \u00e7ok \u00e7arpar hale gelecek,\nkendisine kendi dengi olan kad\u0131nlar\u0131n aray\u0131\u015f\u0131na girecekti. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2018Belki\nde bu benim kurtulu\u015fumdur,\u2019 umuduna s\u0131k\u0131ca sar\u0131larak, masalar\u0131na yakla\u015fmakta\nolan \u00e7ifti so\u011fukkanl\u0131l\u0131kla izledi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ceren\nyakla\u015fan \u00e7ifti g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde oturdu\u011fu yerde dikilerek \u00f6nce Elif\u2019e, sonra Zeynep\u2019e\nbakt\u0131. Ortal\u0131kta neler d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc bilmiyordu ama ikisinin de \u015fu an en e\u011flenceli\nsaatlerini ya\u015famad\u0131klar\u0131 bir ger\u00e7ekti. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Zeynep\u2019in\ntedirgin g\u00f6zleri Sinan\u2019\u0131n yan\u0131ndaki kad\u0131n\u0131n \u00fczerinde \u015f\u00f6yle bir dolan\u0131p Elif\u2019e\nd\u00f6nd\u00fc. \u0130\u00e7kisini sakin sakin yudumlayarak yakla\u015fan \u00e7ifti inceliyordu. Bu kad\u0131n\nhi\u00e7 falso vermez miydi? Kendisi olsa \u015fu ana kadar \u00e7oktan a\u011flamaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f,\narkas\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6nerek onlar gelmeden oradan ka\u00e7m\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Elif ise d\u00fcnya \u00fczerinde hi\u00e7bir\n\u015feyin kendisini etkilemesine izin vermemeyi ba\u015far\u0131yordu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ah\nasl\u0131nda \u015fu an onun y\u0131k\u0131lm\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fundan ad\u0131 gibi emindi. Yine de ona bakan\nkimse, hayat\u0131n\u0131n a\u015fk\u0131n\u0131n kolunda seksi bir k\u0131z\u0131lla masalar\u0131na y\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fc\nseyretti\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnemezdi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sinan\ndudaklar\u0131na bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme kondurmu\u015f, G\u00fclay\u2019\u0131n daha fazla i\u00e7memesi i\u00e7in dua\nederek kendisini bir masaya atmaya u\u011fra\u015f\u0131yordu. \u0130ki sene \u00f6nce k\u0131sa bir s\u00fcre onunla\nbirlikte olmu\u015flard\u0131. \u00c7ok al\u0131ml\u0131, ama derinli\u011fi olmayan bir kad\u0131nd\u0131. Sinan \u00e7ok\n\u00e7abuk s\u0131k\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, ustal\u0131kla yollar\u0131n\u0131 ay\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ge\u00e7enlerde\nyolda kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131klar\u0131nda, biraz da evden uzakla\u015fma iste\u011fiyle, birlikte bir\nak\u015fam d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kmak iyi bir fikir gibi gelmi\u015fti. Ama daha yemeklerini yerken ne\nb\u00fcy\u00fck bir hata yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. G\u00fclay, alkol\u00fcn de etkisiyle kendisine\ndurmaks\u0131z\u0131n dokunmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f, gen\u00e7 adam bundan \u00e7ok bunalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Zeynep\u2019i\no kalabal\u0131kta g\u00f6rebilmesi mucizeydi. Hemen kad\u0131n\u0131n koluna yap\u0131\u015f\u0131p onu\nZeyneplerin koltu\u011funa s\u00fcr\u00fcklemeye ba\u015flad\u0131. Ortas\u0131nda uzunca bir sehpa olan,\nyumu\u015fak tek bir koltukla \u00e7evrelenmi\u015f bir oturma yeriydi buras\u0131. Gruba genel bir\nselam verip G\u00fclay\u2019\u0131 tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131rken, Elif\u2019in ikisine kay\u0131ts\u0131z bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131\nka\u00e7\u0131rmad\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Herkes\nbiraz yana kayarak onlara yer a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, G\u00fclay neredeyse Sinan\u2019\u0131n kuca\u011f\u0131na\noturdu. \u0130\u00e7inden y\u00fckselen utan\u00e7 duygusuyla, kad\u0131n\u0131 panikle kendinden uzakla\u015ft\u0131rmaya\n\u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Lanet olsun, olanlar\u0131n hepsi yanl\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u0130\u00e7inden bir ses \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131k \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011fa\nfelaketini hayk\u0131r\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Huzursuz bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131 istemsizce Elif\u2019e kayd\u0131\u011f\u0131nda onun alayla g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi\u011fini g\u00f6rd\u00fc.\u00a0\u015eehla g\u00f6zl\u00fc g\u00fcl\u00fcyor muydu kendisine? Evet, kahrolas\u0131, \u015fimdi de y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc barda\u011f\u0131na e\u011fmi\u015f g\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc saklamaya u\u011fra\u015f\u0131yordu. Zaten gerilmi\u015f olan sinirleri iyice tepesine \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sonraki\ndakikalar Sinan i\u00e7in tam bir k\u00e2bustu. Y\u00fcksek m\u00fczik konu\u015fmaya izin vermedi\u011finden\nherkes ba\u011f\u0131rarak konu\u015fuyor, kimsenin s\u00f6yledi\u011fi uzakta oturanlarca duyulmuyordu.\nYine de herkes b\u00fcy\u00fck bir azimle birbirine bir \u015feyler anlatmaya \u00e7abal\u0131yor, hemen\nher \u015feye g\u00fcl\u00fcyorlard\u0131. Alkol, e\u011flence d\u00fczeyini yeterince y\u00fckseltmi\u015f, grubun\nenerjisi her yere yay\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Geldiklerinden\nbu yana Sinan\u2019a bakmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 Elif. Kimseyle konu\u015fmuyor, m\u00fczi\u011fe e\u015flik ederek\nyerinde hafif\u00e7e sallan\u0131yordu. G\u00f6zleri ya pistte ya barda\u011f\u0131ndayd\u0131. Arada bir\nkonu\u015fulanlara mimikleriyle tepki verdi\u011finde, herkes sanki bir \u015fey\ns\u00f6ylemi\u015f\u00e7esine onu konu\u015fmaya d\u00e2hil ediyor, varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fck bir co\u015fkuyla kabul\nediyorlard\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2018Sessiz\nbir tanr\u0131\u00e7a\u2019, diye i\u00e7inden ge\u00e7irirken g\u00f6zleri kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131. Yarg\u0131lamadan bakan\nama hi\u00e7bir duygu bar\u0131nd\u0131rmayan bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde i\u00e7ini saran su\u00e7luluk\nduygusu can\u0131n\u0131 s\u0131kt\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>G\u00fclay\u2019\u0131n\nahtapot kollar\u0131 Sinan\u2019a dolan\u0131p onu dans pistine \u00e7ekmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131nda gen\u00e7 adam\ni\u00e7inden y\u00fckselen k\u0131zg\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131 daha ne kadar denetleyece\u011fini bilememenin\n\u00e7aresizli\u011fini ya\u015fad\u0131. Onun pe\u015finden piste y\u00fcr\u00fcrken, Elif\u2019in tepkisini kontrol\netti\u011fi i\u00e7in kendisine bir kez daha \u00f6fkelenip pistin masaya en yak\u0131n k\u0131sm\u0131nda\ndurarak g\u00f6zlerini Elif\u2019e dikti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bakm\u0131yordu.\nBa\u015f\u0131 \u00f6n\u00fcne e\u011fik, i\u00e7kisini yudumluyordu. \u00dczerine t\u0131rmanmaya u\u011fra\u015fan kad\u0131n\u0131\nkendisinden uzakla\u015ft\u0131rarak kendisini b\u00f6yle bir duruma soktu\u011funa lanet etti.\nM\u00fczik tarihinin en uzun s\u00fcreli par\u00e7as\u0131 bu olmal\u0131yd\u0131. Bitmek bilmiyordu. Son\nnotalar \u00e7al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131 an kad\u0131n\u0131 kendisinden uzakla\u015ft\u0131rarak masaya y\u00f6neldi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>G\u00fclay\u2019\u0131n\nyeniden kuca\u011f\u0131na t\u00fcnemesini istemedi\u011finden elini Zeynep\u2019e uzatt\u0131. Onunla dans\nederken biraz olsun huzura kavu\u015fabilirdi belki.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Piste\n\u00e7\u0131kt\u0131klar\u0131nda Zeynep bir s\u00fcre Sinan\u2019\u0131 inceledi. \u201c\u0130yi g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fcyorsun, ba\u015f\u0131n m\u0131\na\u011fr\u0131yor?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>K\u0131z\u0131n\nilgisinde yapay olan hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yoktu. Kendisi i\u00e7in ger\u00e7ekten endi\u015felendi\u011fini\nanlad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda i\u00e7i \u0131s\u0131narak ona g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cHay\u0131r,\nsadece yanl\u0131\u015f kararlar almaktan bunald\u0131m.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Oh,\nacaba Elif\u2019in de bunlar aras\u0131nda bir yeri var m\u0131yd\u0131? Zeynep merakla onun y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc\ninceledi. Ka\u00e7amak bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n masalar\u0131na y\u00f6neldi\u011fini g\u00f6rmek i\u00e7inde bir umudun\nfilizlenmesine neden oldu. Elif\u2019e mi bak\u0131yordu?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cHer\n\u015fey yoluna girecek. Kendine biraz zaman ver.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sinan\ne\u011filip Zeynep\u2019in yana\u011f\u0131na s\u0131cak bir \u00f6p\u00fcc\u00fck kondurdu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201c\u0130yi\nki vars\u0131n Zeynep. \u0130yi ki benimle arkada\u015f kalmay\u0131 se\u00e7mi\u015fsin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Birbirlerine\nsar\u0131larak dansa devam eden \u00e7ifti izlerken Elif\u2019in i\u00e7inde depremler oluyordu.\nHer an a\u011flamak \u00fczere oldu\u011funu biliyor, kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndaki k\u0131z\u0131l kad\u0131n\u0131n kendisiyle\nyapmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 anlams\u0131z sohbete dayanmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu. Ceren tam zaman\u0131nda\naralar\u0131na girerek kad\u0131n\u0131n ilgisini kendisi \u00fczerine \u00e7ekince, minnetle arkada\u015f\u0131na\nbakt\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bo\u011fulmak\n\u00fczereydi. Birden i\u00e7ine yerle\u015fen bir panikle kas\u0131ld\u0131. Ya Sinan bundan sonra da\nkendisiyle dans etmek isterse? Oh Tanr\u0131m, m\u00fczik bitmek \u00fczereydi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Tela\u015fla\nyerinden f\u0131rlay\u0131p tuvaletlerin oldu\u011fu b\u00f6l\u00fcme y\u00f6neldi. Burada bir s\u00fcre\nsaklanabilir, on on be\u015f dakikay\u0131 \u00f6zg\u00fcrce kendisine ay\u0131rabilirdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bara\nyana\u015f\u0131p bir cin portakal istedi. M\u00fczik sanki beyninde \u00e7al\u0131yor, insanlar\nbedeninin i\u00e7inde tepiniyorlard\u0131. Aynada g\u00f6z\u00fcne ili\u015fen siluetindeki \u0131st\u0131rap dolu\nifadeyle bir kez daha sars\u0131ld\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Daha\nne kadar eziyet \u00e7ekmesi gerekiyordu? &nbsp;Sinan\u2019a bu kadar yak\u0131n olup ona dokunamamak,\nyan g\u00f6zle ba\u015fka bir kad\u0131n\u0131n onu durmadan elledi\u011fini ve konu\u015furken kula\u011f\u0131na\nf\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rmek katlanabilece\u011finden \u00e7ok fazlayd\u0131. \u0130\u00e7i ac\u0131yordu.\nKemiklerine kadar b\u00fct\u00fcn etlerine i\u011fneler bat\u0131r\u0131l\u0131yormu\u015f gibi bedeni ac\u0131yordu.\nNefesi ac\u0131yordu. Ruhu ac\u0131yordu. Bu gece nas\u0131l bitecekti!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cElif?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yan\u0131na\nyakla\u015fan sar\u0131\u015f\u0131n adam\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde bir an kim oldu\u011funu \u00e7\u0131karamad\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cHey,\nSerhat ben&#8230; Hat\u0131rlamad\u0131n m\u0131?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ah,\ntabii ya&#8230; Sa\u00e7lar\u0131 d\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcnce tan\u0131yamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ger\u00e7ekten de.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cHat\u0131rlad\u0131m.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00d6n\u00fcne\nd\u00f6n\u00fcp adam\u0131n k\u0131sa kesmesi i\u00e7in dua etti. Medeni bir sohbet yapacak ruh halinden\nolduk\u00e7a uzakt\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Masaya\nd\u00f6nmedi\u011finde Elif\u2019i merak eden Sinan tuvalete gitme bahanesiyle masadan\nayr\u0131larak onu barda bulmu\u015f ama g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc \u015fey hi\u00e7 ho\u015funa gitmemi\u015fti. Hergelenin\nteki Elif\u2019i barda k\u0131st\u0131rm\u0131\u015f a\u00e7 g\u00f6zlerle maden bulmu\u015f gibi g\u00fcl\u00fcmseyerek ona\nbak\u0131yordu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u0130\u00e7inde\ny\u00fckselen k\u0131zg\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131 bast\u0131rmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Belki de adam kad\u0131n\u0131 taciz ediyordu.\nKonu\u015ftuklar\u0131n\u0131 duyacak kadar yak\u0131nlar\u0131na gidip belli etmeden onlar\u0131 dinlemeye\nba\u015flad\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cHi\u00e7\nde\u011fi\u015fmemi\u015fsin\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Elif\nayn\u0131 \u015feyi s\u00f6yleyemeyece\u011fi i\u00e7in sustu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Serhat\nokulun en pop\u00fcler \u00e7ocuklar\u0131ndand\u0131 ve Elif\u2019le dalga ge\u00e7mek de hobileri\naras\u0131ndayd\u0131. E\u011fer onun yapt\u0131klar\u0131na \u00f6nem vermi\u015f olsa, Elif\u2019in bu g\u00fcnleri sa\u011f\nsalim g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f olmas\u0131 m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olmazd\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Hala\n\u00e7ok yak\u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131 ve zalim g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyordu. \u00dcniversiteye ba\u015flad\u0131ktan sonra okuldaki\nsevgilisiyle evlenmi\u015fti. Ama halinden, i\u015flerin onlar i\u00e7in pek de yolunda\ngitmedi\u011fi anla\u015f\u0131labiliyordu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cBir\nara birlikte bir \u015feyler yer miyiz?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Elif\nd\u00f6n\u00fcp ilgisiz g\u00f6zlerle Serhat\u2019a bakt\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cNeden?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201c\u015eey,\nben sana \u00e7ok haks\u0131zl\u0131k etti\u011fimin fark\u0131nday\u0131m. Sen \u00e7ok tatl\u0131 bir k\u0131zs\u0131n, bunu\n\u015fimdi daha net g\u00f6rebiliyorum.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYani?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>G\u00f6zlerindeki\nbak\u0131\u015f Serhat\u2019\u0131n rahats\u0131zca yerinde k\u0131p\u0131rdanmas\u0131na neden oldu. Umdu\u011fu tepkiyi\nalamamak can\u0131n\u0131 s\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Ne dese kad\u0131n\u0131n ilgisini \u00e7ekemeyece\u011fini anlad\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan,\n\u201cNeyse sonra bir ara g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u00fcz belki,\u201d diyerek bardan uzakla\u015ft\u0131. Elif\ni\u00e7kisinden bir yudum al\u0131rken o g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmenin hi\u00e7bir zaman ger\u00e7ekle\u015fmeyece\u011fi\nduru\u015fundan belliydi. Serhat \u00e7oktan akl\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Elif\u2019in\ntav\u0131rlar\u0131 o kadar tan\u0131d\u0131kt\u0131 ki. Sinan onu seyrederken, can\u0131n\u0131 s\u0131kan kad\u0131nlara\nkendisinin de ayn\u0131 \u015fekilde davrand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc. Gereksiz bir b\u00f6ce\u011fe bakar gibi\ng\u00f6zlerini l\u00fctfen onlara \u00e7evirir, sadece gereken kelimeleri s\u00f6ylerdi. An\nge\u00e7ti\u011finde \u00f6yle bir insan\u0131n varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 tamamen unutmu\u015f olurdu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Y\u00fcz\u00fcnde\nbir g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemeyle bir s\u00fcre daha gen\u00e7 kad\u0131n\u0131 seyretti. Yaln\u0131zd\u0131 ama \u2018yakla\u015fmay\u0131n\u2019\ntavr\u0131 erkeklerin onun yan\u0131na gelmesine engel oluyordu. O an bamba\u015fka bir\nd\u00fcnyada oldu\u011fu \u00e7ok a\u00e7\u0131kt\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cBenden\nmi ka\u00e7\u0131yorsun?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Oh\nTanr\u0131m. Oh Tanr\u0131m! Elif y\u00fcz\u00fcne yerle\u015ftirdi\u011fi kay\u0131ts\u0131z ifadenin bir s\u00fcre\nhatlar\u0131na al\u0131\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131 bekledikten sonra arkas\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6nd\u00fc. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cKalabal\u0131ktan\nbunald\u0131m sadece.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>K\u0131s\u0131k\nela g\u00f6zler \u00fczerine dikilmi\u015f, dikkatle inceliyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cDans\net benimle.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cHay\u0131r.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u0130tiraz\netmiyor, olaca\u011f\u0131 s\u00f6yl\u00fcyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cO\nzaman konu\u015f benimle.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cHay\u0131r.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>K\u0131zg\u0131nl\u0131kla\nparlayan g\u00f6zleriyle Elif\u2019e bakan Sinan\u2019\u0131n bedeni \u00e7aresizlikle kas\u0131ld\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cBak,\ni\u00e7inde kayboldu\u011fum bir hayat\u0131n tam ortas\u0131na bir bomba at\u0131p gittin. Yan\u0131tlara\nihtiyac\u0131m var. Seninle konu\u015fmama izin vermiyorsun. Yan\u0131mda iki saniye bile\ndurmaya tahamm\u00fcl edemiyorsun. Birlikte yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z i\u015fi bu \u015fekilde\ns\u00fcrd\u00fcrebilece\u011fimiz konusunda akl\u0131mda \u015f\u00fcphe uyanmas\u0131na neden oluyorsun.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u015ea\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131kla\nbir kahkaha atan Elif\u2019in \u201cYine mi?\u201d demesi Sinan\u2019a hi\u00e7bir \u015fey ifade etmedi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcmseyen\nbak\u0131\u015flarla yan\u0131ndan uzakla\u015fan Elif\u2019in arkas\u0131ndan bakarken, kad\u0131na aba alt\u0131ndan\nsopa g\u00f6stermi\u015f oldu\u011fu ger\u00e7e\u011fini hazmetmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Bu kadar al\u00e7alm\u0131\u015f olabilir\nmiydi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Oldu\u011fu\nyerden masay\u0131 seyredip Elif\u2019in masadaki t\u00fcm kad\u0131nlardan ne kadar farkl\u0131\noldu\u011funu en derinlerinde hissetti. \u2018G\u00fczel\u2019 kelimesi yerle\u015fti y\u00fcre\u011fine. \u2018Onurlu.\nG\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc. Sad\u0131k. Korkusuz.\u2019 <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Evine\ngelip yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 o konu\u015fma kimsenin harc\u0131 de\u011fildi. Tanr\u0131m, birisi taraf\u0131ndan b\u00f6yle\nsevilmek \u00e7ok g\u00fczel olmal\u0131yd\u0131. Ama sevdi\u011fi \u00f6b\u00fcr Sinan\u2019d\u0131. Kad\u0131n\u0131n kazadan \u00f6nceki\nSinan\u2019a kar\u015f\u0131 hissettikleri, \u015fu an kendisi i\u00e7in ula\u015f\u0131lmazd\u0131. O bu kad\u0131na\nula\u015fm\u0131\u015f, onu kendisine ba\u011flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Hem de \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcnde mi? \u015eansl\u0131 hergele, diye\nge\u00e7irdi i\u00e7inden. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>G\u00fclay\u2019a\nbakt\u0131, bu kad\u0131ndan derhal ve sonsuza kadar kurtulmas\u0131 gerekiyordu. Masaya\ny\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fcp \u201cGidelim, ba\u015f\u0131m a\u011fr\u0131d\u0131,\u201d diyerek kad\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131rd\u0131. Herkesle vedala\u015f\u0131p\n\u00e7\u0131kt\u0131lar kul\u00fcpten. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>G\u00fclay\u2019\u0131n\nkendi evine gitme, sonra da bir sonraki bulu\u015fma planlar\u0131n\u0131 yan\u0131ts\u0131z b\u0131rakt\u0131.\nEvine ula\u015ft\u0131klar\u0131nda araban\u0131n motorunu durdurmad\u0131. G\u00fclay itirazlar aras\u0131nda\narabadan iner inmez bir korna \u00e7al\u0131p, oradan uzakla\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yeniden\nkul\u00fcbe gidip kap\u0131da park etti\u011finde yol boyu radyoda \u00e7alan m\u00fczikle ruhu biraz\nolsun sakinle\u015fmi\u015fti. Bir randevunun kendisini bu kadar bo\u011fdu\u011funu hi\u00e7\nhat\u0131rlam\u0131yordu. \u0130\u00e7eri girmek istemedi. Nas\u0131l olsa Elif onunla yine\nkonu\u015fmayacakt\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2018Bir\ndaha benim etraf\u0131mda olmana bile izin vermeyece\u011fim.\u2019 <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Vermiyordu\nger\u00e7ekten de. Sinan ona hi\u00e7bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc ula\u015famad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n fark\u0131ndayd\u0131 ve bundan\nnefret ediyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bir saat sonra Zeynepler kap\u0131dan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, o ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 koltu\u011fa yaslam\u0131\u015f, derin d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelere dalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Elif\u2019in bir taksiye bindi\u011fini g\u00f6rd\u00fc. Arabas\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131p taksiyi izledi. O arabadan inince hangi dairenin \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n yanaca\u011f\u0131na bakt\u0131. Bir s\u00fcre daha ne yapaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmeden arabada oturdu, sonra evine gidip kendisine kocaman bir bardak viski doldurdu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<nav aria-label=\"Page navigation\" class=\"text-center\"><ul class=\"pagination pagination-sm justify-content-center\"><li class=\"page-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-1\/\" class=\"page-link icon-link\">&laquo;<\/a><\/li><li class=\"page-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-44\/\" class=\"page-link icon-link\">&lsaquo;<\/a><\/li><li class=\"page-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-41\/\" class=\"page-link\">41<\/a><\/li><li class=\"page-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-42\/\" class=\"page-link\">42<\/a><\/li><li class=\"page-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-43\/\" class=\"page-link\">43<\/a><\/li><li class=\"page-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-44\/\" class=\"page-link\">44<\/a><\/li><li class=\"page-item active\"><span class=\"page-link\">45<\/span><\/li><li class=\"page-item disabled\"><span class=\"page-link icon-link\">&rsaquo;<\/span><\/li><li class=\"page-item disabled\"><span class=\"page-link icon-link\">&raquo;<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/nav>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Gecenin keyfini Ceren \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131yordu. En \u00e7ok i\u00e7kiyi o i\u00e7mi\u015f, en \u00e7ok dansa o kalkm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Ortam\u0131n enerjisini art\u0131r\u0131yor, insanda kendini unuturcas\u0131na pistte hoplay\u0131p z\u0131plama iste\u011fi uyand\u0131r\u0131yordu. Dans pistinden kopup koltu\u011fa serilerek \u201cBardaki sar\u0131\u015f\u0131n azman beni kesiyor,\u201d diye ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131 gruba. \u00c7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar ve kahkahalar birbirine kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Restorandan beri bu \u015faka d\u00f6n\u00fcyordu aralar\u0131nda. Ceren\u2019in \u201cBu garson beni kesiyor,\u201d demesiyle &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"><a class=\"readmore-btn\" href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-45\/\">+<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">  Read More<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1566,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1511","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-secilmemis"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1511","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1511"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1511\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2541,"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1511\/revisions\/2541"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1511"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1511"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1511"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}