{"id":1480,"date":"2019-06-09T22:31:19","date_gmt":"2019-06-09T19:31:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/yesblog\/?p=1480"},"modified":"2024-01-03T00:12:37","modified_gmt":"2024-01-02T21:12:37","slug":"secilmemis-bolum-19","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-19\/","title":{"rendered":"Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 19"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"row\"><select onchange=\"document.location=this.value;\"\n            class=\"form-control pull-right\" style=\"background:#d7fcef; color:black; width:auto; min-width:200px; margin-right:20px;\">\n            <option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-1\/\" >Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 1<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-2\/\" >Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 2<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-3\/\" 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>Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 33<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-34\/\" >Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 34<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-35\/\" >Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 35<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-36\/\" >Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 36<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-37\/\" >Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 37<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-38\/\" >Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 38<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-39\/\" >Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 39<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-40\/\" >Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 40<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-41\/\" >Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 41<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-42\/\" >Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 42<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-43\/\" >Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 43<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-44\/\" >Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 44<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-45\/\" >Se\u00e7ilmemi\u015f B\u00f6l\u00fcm 45<\/option><\/select><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dudaklar\u0131na\ndokunan parmaklar\u0131 hissetti\u011finde uykudayd\u0131. Hafif ok\u015famalarla aralanan a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131n\nhemen \u00fczerinde Sinan\u2019\u0131n nefesini duyabiliyordu. G\u00f6zleri a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131 ve onun g\u00f6zlerine\nkilitlendi. \u0130\u00e7lerinde g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc ate\u015f Elif\u2019in ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6nd\u00fcrd\u00fc. Nefes al\u0131rsa\n\u00f6pmeyece\u011finden korkarak titreyen bedeniyle bekledi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dudaklar\u0131\nbirbirine s\u00fcrt\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde, bacaklar\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131n\u0131 saran alevlerle k\u0131vranarak ona\ny\u00fckselmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Eliyle kal\u00e7as\u0131n\u0131 tuttu adam, dokunmas\u0131na izin vermedi.\n\u0130\u00e7inden akan zevk bacaklar\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131ndan s\u00fcz\u00fclerek yata\u011fa s\u0131zarken,\nkad\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndaki zonklamayla bir itiraz \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ka\u00e7t\u0131 a\u011fz\u0131ndan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201c\u00d6zledin\nmi beni?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Konu\u015famad\u0131\nbile Elif. G\u00f6zleri umutla dolu erke\u011fe bakarken ba\u015f\u0131yla onaylad\u0131. Sinan\ndudaklar\u0131n\u0131 tekrar s\u00fcrterek, \u201cS\u00f6yle,\u201d diye f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201c\u00d6zledim.\u201d\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dudaklar\u0131\nbirbirine s\u00fcrt\u00fcnmeye devam ederken bekledi\u011fi \u00f6p\u00fcc\u00fc\u011f\u00fc vermedi adam. Oysa sadece\ndudaklar\u0131ndaki bu temasla bo\u015falabilirdi. Neden \u00f6pm\u00fcyordu? Bedeni ona o kadar\na\u00e7t\u0131 ki art\u0131k can\u0131 yan\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201c\u00c7ok\n\u00f6zledim Sinan. L\u00fctfen.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>H\u0131zla\ninip kalkan g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcnde nefesi yetersiz kald\u0131. Bedeni terden neredeyse\nbacaklar\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131 kadar nemlenmi\u015fti. Arzudan k\u0131vranarak \u00e7ar\u015faf\u0131 kavrad\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cL\u00fctfen!\u201d\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>G\u00f6zlerini\na\u00e7t\u0131. Karanl\u0131ktan ba\u015fka bir \u015fey yoktu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>G\u00fcne\ndarmada\u011f\u0131n\u0131k ba\u015flamaya al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 art\u0131k Elif. Gece g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc r\u00fcyalar\u0131n etkisi\nsabah hala \u00fczerinde oluyordu. \u0130\u00e7indeki arzuyu nas\u0131l yat\u0131\u015ft\u0131raca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilemeyerek\nsabaha kadar yatakta d\u00f6n\u00fcp duruyordu. Sabah kalkt\u0131\u011f\u0131ndaysa yast\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015flarla \u0131slanm\u0131\u015f\nbuluyordu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sinan\nyoktu. Sanki hayat\u0131na hi\u00e7 girmemi\u015f gibi ortadan kaybolmu\u015ftu. Bu Elif\u2019i elbette\nki \u00e7ok rahatlat\u0131yordu ama i\u00e7inde bir yerlerde, ya\u015fananlar\u0131n bu kadar hi\u00e7e\nsay\u0131lmas\u0131n\u0131 hazmedemiyordu. En az\u0131ndan Zeynep\u2019le yeniden birlikte olduklar\u0131n\u0131\nkendisine s\u00f6yleyebilirdi. Elif de i\u00e7indeki \u00f6fkeyi bo\u015faltma olana\u011f\u0131 bulmu\u015f\nolurdu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u015eimdi\nher \u015fey i\u00e7inde kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Ac\u0131, k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131k, \u00f6fke yeniden birikiyordu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ekip\nhummal\u0131 bir \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaya dald\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan, Zeynep gelir gelmez i\u015fe g\u00f6m\u00fcld\u00fc ve tatil\nan\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 anlatma f\u0131rsat\u0131n\u0131 ancak \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcn sonra bulabildi. O ana kadar Elif her\ng\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc yerde Zeynep&#8217;ten ka\u00e7maya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Y\u00fcz\u00fcne bakamayacak kadar utan\u0131yor,\nSinan&#8217;a oldu\u011fu kadar kendisine de lanet ediyordu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sonunda\nZeynep&#8217;e yakaland\u0131\u011f\u0131nda \u00f6\u011fle yeme\u011fi i\u00e7in Ceren\u2019le yan taraftaki\nkafeteryadayd\u0131lar. Sipari\u015flerini verdiklerinde Sinan telefonla Zeynep&#8217;i aram\u0131\u015f,\nkonu da do\u011fal olarak a\u00e7\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Otelin\nlobisinde onu g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc andan ba\u015flayarak her bir detay\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fck bir co\u015fkuyla\nanlatt\u0131 Zeynep. Anlat\u0131lacak \u015feyler bitmiyor, kelimeler t\u00fckenmiyordu. Ceren de\natlanan hi\u00e7bir an kalmamas\u0131 i\u00e7in \u00f6zel \u00e7aba sarf ediyordu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Elif\nduydu\u011fu her kelimede biraz daha t\u00fckeniyordu. Y\u00fcz\u00fcne bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme oturtmak,\nuygun yerlerde k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck kahkahalar atmak i\u015fkenceydi. Zeynep susmuyordu.\nSusmayacakt\u0131. Tanr\u0131m, bu k\u0131z hi\u00e7 susmayacak m\u0131yd\u0131?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201c\u2026\nsahip oldu\u011fum en iyi arkada\u015f\u0131m oldu.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ne\ndiyordu bu k\u0131z? G\u00fcld\u00fcrmesinlerdi onu. Sinan Zeynep\u2019le arkada\u015f falan olmazd\u0131. Zeynep&#8217;i\nyeniden elde etmek i\u00e7in bir taktikti i\u015fte. Sinsice yeniden onun hayat\u0131na\ngirecek, sonra da Zeynep\u2019i nik\u00e2h masas\u0131na oturtacakt\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201c\u2026korkmadan\nele\u015ftirdim. Hatal\u0131 buldu\u011fum y\u00f6nlerini tek tek y\u00fcz\u00fcne\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Lokmalar\nbo\u011faz\u0131na tak\u0131l\u0131yor, a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 inmemekte direniyordu. \u00c7inlilerin en b\u00fcy\u00fck hatas\u0131\ni\u015fkence i\u00e7in Zeynep\u2019i kullanmay\u0131 ak\u0131l edememeleri olmal\u0131yd\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201c\u2026kad\u0131n\ng\u00f6zleriyle Sinan\u2019\u0131 yiyecek sand\u0131m. Beni engel olarak g\u00f6rmemesini s\u00f6yledim, inanabiliyor\nmusunuz?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ceren\nhayretle \u201cNas\u0131l ya? Seninleyken mi?\u201d diye c\u0131rlad\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kad\u0131n\nm\u0131? Bir de ba\u015fka kad\u0131n m\u0131 vard\u0131? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2018Anne,\nneden al\u0131p g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u00fcyorsun beni buradan?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYa\nabinle birlikteymi\u015fsin gibi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn. Ona nas\u0131l bozulmazsan\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Birlikte\nolmu\u015f muydu o kad\u0131nla? Dudaklar\u0131 ona dokunmu\u015f muydu? \u0130\u00e7ine girdi\u011finde onu da\nseyretmi\u015f miydi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201c\u2026\nkad\u0131na \u2018Yanl\u0131\u015f g\u00f6zler,\u2019 dedi. Ben anlamad\u0131m ama eminim kad\u0131n da anlamad\u0131.\nBozulup gitti.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ceren\u2019le\nikisi son zamanlar\u0131n en \u00f6nemli dedikodusunu yap\u0131yor olmaktan b\u00fcy\u00fck keyif al\u0131yorlard\u0131.\nC\u0131v\u0131lday\u0131p duran k\u0131zlar\u0131 i\u00e7i bo\u011fularak seyretti Elif. Nefes alam\u0131yordu. Elleri\nuyu\u015fuyordu. \u00c7atal\u0131n\u0131 tutmakta bile zorlan\u0131yordu. Buradan uzakla\u015fmal\u0131yd\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cBenim\najansa d\u00f6nmem gerek. Siz devam edin, sonra g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u00fcz,\u201d dedikten sonra ko\u015fmamaya\n\u00e7al\u0131\u015farak kafeteryadan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u0130ki\nk\u0131z \u015fa\u015f\u0131rarak onun gidi\u015fini izlerken Zeynep, \u201cNesi var Elif\u2019in?\u201d diye sordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cBilmiyorum.\nS\u00f6ylemiyor. Bamba\u015fka bir Elif oldu \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cNe\nyapaca\u011f\u0131z peki?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ceren\nZeynep\u2019in g\u00f6zlerinin i\u00e7ine bakarak, \u201cHi\u00e7bir \u015fey,\u201d dedi. \u201cE\u011fer onu kendimizden\nka\u00e7\u0131rmak istemiyorsak, o bize a\u00e7\u0131lana kadar g\u0131k\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 bile \u00e7\u0131karmayaca\u011f\u0131z.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Elif\nkafeteryadan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131ktan sonra bir s\u00fcre ama\u00e7s\u0131zca y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc. O saatte kimsenin\nolmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir parka oturarak yoldan ge\u00e7en arabalar\u0131 izledi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bir\naraba alsa m\u0131yd\u0131? Hatta bir karavan\u2026 \u0130\u00e7inde yatak, lavabo gibi donan\u0131mlar\u0131 olan\nara\u00e7lar oldu\u011funu biliyordu. Baz\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131n du\u015fu bile vard\u0131. Onunla her yeri\ngezebilirdi. Diledi\u011fi yerde durur, diledi\u011fi yoldan devam ederdi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u015eehirden\nuzaktaki k\u00f6ylere giderdi. Sakin, h\u0131rslar\u0131 ve aceleleri olmayan insanlar\naras\u0131nda dola\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Mutfa\u011f\u0131 da olurdu karavan\u0131n. Hi\u00e7 denemedi\u011fi yemekleri yapar\nyerdi. \u00c7imlerin \u00fczerine a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131p kapanan bir masa koyar, ku\u015flar\u0131n sesini\ndinleyerek saatlerce otururdu. Tek ba\u015f\u0131na.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>***<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bir\nhafta sonra, ilk sunumu yapmak \u00fczere haz\u0131rlard\u0131. Bu kez toplant\u0131 Korad Ajans&#8217;ta\nyap\u0131lacakt\u0131. M\u00fc\u015fterilerin gelmesinin yak\u0131nla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 zamanlarda oldu\u011fu gibi,\najansta b\u00fcy\u00fck bir tela\u015f h\u00fck\u00fcm s\u00fcr\u00fcyordu. Herkes ortal\u0131kta ko\u015fu\u015fturuyor, sunum\nmalzemeleri toplant\u0131 odas\u0131na yerle\u015ftiriliyor, yiyecek i\u00e7ecek ikram\u0131 i\u00e7in masa\nd\u00fczenlemesi yap\u0131l\u0131yordu. Elif masas\u0131nda ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 ellerinin aras\u0131na alm\u0131\u015f kalbinin\n\u00e7arp\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 gidermeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu. Do\u011fan&#8217;\u0131 g\u00f6recek olmas\u0131 bile i\u00e7inin\ns\u0131k\u0131\u015fmas\u0131 i\u00e7in yeterli olmu\u015ftu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Art\u0131k\nplan yoktu, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc art\u0131k Sinan yoktu. Yirmi g\u00fcn olmu\u015ftu. Yirmi g\u00fcnd\u00fcr Sinan\nyoktu. Yine de onu tan\u0131yan birisiyle kar\u015f\u0131la\u015facak olmak bile i\u00e7ini heyecanla\ndoldurabiliyordu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>\u2018Allah\u2019\u0131n ezi\u011fi.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Uzaktaki\nasans\u00f6r\u00fcn kap\u0131lar\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131p g\u00f6rmeden bakan g\u00f6zleri tan\u0131d\u0131k bir fig\u00fcr\u00fc\nyakalad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, \u00f6nce bunun da di\u011ferleri gibi bir hayal oldu\u011funu sand\u0131. Sinan ve\nDo\u011fan salonda, kendilerini kar\u015f\u0131layan Servet Bey\u2019le birlikteydiler. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bunun\nhayal olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131, bilincine yava\u015f yava\u015f yerle\u015fti. Sinan gelmi\u015fti! Buradayd\u0131! Ba\u015f\u0131ndan\na\u015fa\u011f\u0131 kaynar sular d\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcrken, g\u00f6zleri adama dikilip kald\u0131. Sinan etrafa\nbak\u0131nmadan, Do\u011fan&#8217;la birlikte do\u011frudan Servet Bey&#8217;in odas\u0131na girip oda kap\u0131s\u0131\nda kapanana kadar Elif nefes bile almam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Panik\nduygusuyla fel\u00e7 olmu\u015f olabilece\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc. Hareket edemiyordu. Tek bir kas\u0131n\u0131\nbile k\u0131p\u0131rdatam\u0131yordu. Ekip toplant\u0131 odas\u0131nda yerini almaya ko\u015ftururken, Ceren\nElif&#8217;i d\u00fcrterek g\u00f6t\u00fcrmek zorunda kald\u0131. Bir yandan da, &#8220;Ne oluyor Elif,\nk\u0131p\u0131rdasana, gelecekler \u015fimdi buraya,&#8221; diye s\u00f6yleniyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00dc\u00e7\nerkek odaya girdi\u011finde, Sinan Elif&#8217;e sadece tek bir kez, o da tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131l\u0131rken\nbakt\u0131. Ba\u015f\u0131yla selam verip arkas\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6nd\u00fc, Zeynep\u2019e s\u0131cak bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme\ng\u00f6nderdi ve kendisine g\u00f6sterilen yere oturdu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Elif,\nipleri bir ba\u015fkas\u0131 taraf\u0131ndan y\u00f6netilen bir kukla gibi oturdu sandalyesine.\nG\u00fcnler sonra Sinan\u2019\u0131n g\u00f6zlerine kavu\u015fan g\u00f6zleri k\u00f6r olmu\u015ftu. Tanr\u0131m onu ne\nkadar \u00f6zlemi\u015fti. Y\u00fcz hatlar\u0131n\u0131n k\u0131p\u0131rdanmaya bile g\u00fcc\u00fc olmamas\u0131na deliler gibi\n\u015f\u00fckretti. Yoksa \u00f6zlemi y\u00fcz\u00fcnden ta\u015farak Sinan\u2019a do\u011fru akabilirdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Servet\nBey sunuma ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, g\u00f6zleri istemsiz olarak Sinan&#8217;a kayarak, onun\nkendisine bak\u0131p bakmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 umutla kontrol etti. G\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn ucuyla bile bakm\u0131yordu.\nSanki Elif odada yoktu. Sanki o Elif\u2019e hi\u00e7 dokunmam\u0131\u015f, onu hi\u00e7 \u00f6pmemi\u015fti. \u0130\u00e7ine\nhi\u00e7 girmemi\u015fti. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bu\nkay\u0131ts\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ruhunda bir yerlere s\u0131\u011fd\u0131rmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rken, i\u00e7inden y\u00fckselen\na\u015fa\u011f\u0131lanm\u0131\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 gizlemek, hayat\u0131ndaki en \u00f6nemli amaca d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Elindeki tek\n\u015feye, \u00f6fkeye s\u0131\u011f\u0131nd\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A\u015fa\u011f\u0131l\u0131k\nherif, hayat\u0131na zorla girip kendisine zevk vermi\u015f, kad\u0131n olmay\u0131 \u00f6\u011fretmi\u015f, kollar\u0131n\u0131n\naras\u0131nda avutmu\u015f, o a\u011flarken \u015fefkat g\u00f6stermi\u015fti. Kendisi de zevk alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Hi\u00e7\nolmazsa bu payla\u015ft\u0131klar\u0131 anlar\u0131 hat\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 belli edecek tek bir bak\u0131\u015f\nl\u00fctfedemez miydi? Zeynep&#8217;in anlamamas\u0131 i\u00e7in bunu yap\u0131yor olmal\u0131yd\u0131. K\u0131saca Elif\nharcanabilirdi, duygular\u0131 \u00f6nemsizdi, sayg\u0131 duyulmas\u0131 gerekmezdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u0130\u00e7ini\nkavuran ate\u015f, ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kararl\u0131l\u0131kla yukar\u0131 kald\u0131rmas\u0131n\u0131 sa\u011flad\u0131. Elif hi\u00e7bir\nko\u015fulda ezik olmazd\u0131. O andan sonra Sinan&#8217;\u0131n odadaki varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 beyninin\ngerisine att\u0131. Tamamen sunuma yo\u011funla\u015farak s\u0131ra kendisine geldi\u011finde,\nstratejiyi Do\u011fan&#8217;a anlatt\u0131. Odadaki kimseyi g\u00f6rm\u00fcyor, sadece kendisi ve Do\u011fan\nvarm\u0131\u015f\u00e7as\u0131na yal\u0131t\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir boyut yarat\u0131yordu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kendi\nsunumu bitince di\u011ferlerininkini de ilk kez duyuyormu\u015f gibi b\u00fcy\u00fck bir dikkatle\ndinledi, toplant\u0131 sonunda k\u00e2\u011f\u0131tlar\u0131n\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fck bir titizlikle dosyas\u0131na geri\nkoydu, Do\u011fan&#8217;a bakarak misafirlere selam\u0131n\u0131 verdi ve herkesle birlikte odadan\n\u00e7\u0131kt\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Masas\u0131na\noturdu\u011funda, kendisiyle yeniden gurur duyuyordu. Sinan onu umursam\u0131yor\nolabilirdi, o da onu umursamad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kan\u0131tlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bilmedi\u011fi tek \u015fey Sinan\u2019\u0131n, \u00f6n\u00fcndeki k\u00e2\u011f\u0131da karalama olarak yaz\u0131p b\u00fct\u00fcn toplant\u0131 boyunca kalemini etraf\u0131nda d\u00f6nd\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc \u2018Bakma\u2019 kelimesiydi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<nav aria-label=\"Page navigation\" class=\"text-center\"><ul class=\"pagination pagination-sm justify-content-center\"><li class=\"page-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-1\/\" class=\"page-link icon-link\">&laquo;<\/a><\/li><li class=\"page-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-44\/\" class=\"page-link icon-link\">&lsaquo;<\/a><\/li><li class=\"page-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-41\/\" class=\"page-link\">41<\/a><\/li><li class=\"page-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-42\/\" class=\"page-link\">42<\/a><\/li><li class=\"page-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-43\/\" class=\"page-link\">43<\/a><\/li><li class=\"page-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-44\/\" class=\"page-link\">44<\/a><\/li><li class=\"page-item active\"><span class=\"page-link\">45<\/span><\/li><li class=\"page-item disabled\"><span class=\"page-link icon-link\">&rsaquo;<\/span><\/li><li class=\"page-item disabled\"><span class=\"page-link icon-link\">&raquo;<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/nav>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dudaklar\u0131na dokunan parmaklar\u0131 hissetti\u011finde uykudayd\u0131. Hafif ok\u015famalarla aralanan a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131n hemen \u00fczerinde Sinan\u2019\u0131n nefesini duyabiliyordu. G\u00f6zleri a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131 ve onun g\u00f6zlerine kilitlendi. \u0130\u00e7lerinde g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc ate\u015f Elif\u2019in ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6nd\u00fcrd\u00fc. Nefes al\u0131rsa \u00f6pmeyece\u011finden korkarak titreyen bedeniyle bekledi. Dudaklar\u0131 birbirine s\u00fcrt\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde, bacaklar\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131n\u0131 saran alevlerle k\u0131vranarak ona y\u00fckselmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Eliyle kal\u00e7as\u0131n\u0131 tuttu adam, dokunmas\u0131na izin vermedi. \u0130\u00e7inden akan zevk bacaklar\u0131n\u0131n &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"><a class=\"readmore-btn\" href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/secilmemis\/secilmemis-bolum-45\/\">+<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">  Read More<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1568,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1480","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-secilmemis"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1480","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1480"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1480\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2527,"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1480\/revisions\/2527"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1480"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1480"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1480"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}