{"id":1191,"date":"2019-06-08T23:59:11","date_gmt":"2019-06-08T20:59:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/yesblog\/?p=1191"},"modified":"2024-08-31T12:20:20","modified_gmt":"2024-08-31T09:20:20","slug":"persembe-bolum-18","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-18\/","title":{"rendered":"Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 18"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"row\"><select onchange=\"document.location=this.value;\"\n            class=\"form-control pull-right\" style=\"background:#d7fcef; color:black; width:auto; min-width:200px; margin-right:20px;\">\n            <option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-1\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 1<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-2\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 2<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-3\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 3<\/option><option 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value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-20\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 20<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-21\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 21<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-22\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 22<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-23\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 23<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-24\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 24<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-25\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 25<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-26\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 26<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-27\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 27<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-28\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 28<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-29\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 29<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-30\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 30<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-31\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 31<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-32\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 32<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-33\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 33<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-34\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 34<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-35\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 35<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-36\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 36<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-37\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 37<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-38\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 38<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-39\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 39<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-40\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 40<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-41\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 41<\/option><option value=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-42\/\" >Per\u015fembe B\u00f6l\u00fcm 42<\/option><\/select><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yutkundu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Defalarca\nyutkundu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yi\u011fit\u2019in a\u015fk\u0131n\u0131\nyazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 sat\u0131rlar\u0131 okuman\u0131n kendisini parampar\u00e7a etti\u011fini belli etmek istemedi\nSelen. D\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kmak i\u00e7in h\u00fccum eden ya\u015flar\u0131 inatla bekletti. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Okumaya devam\nedecekse, kalbini nas\u0131rla\u015ft\u0131rmak zorundayd\u0131. Peki devam edecek miydi? Ve neden?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Okuyacaklar\u0131n\u0131 merak\nediyordu, evet. Ama bu, harakiri yapmakla e\u015fde\u011ferdi. De\u011fer miydi? Hay\u0131r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yi\u011fit istemi\u015fti.\nOku demi\u015fti. Onu ilk kez \u00f6zeline davet etmi\u015fti. Bunun i\u00e7in \u00e7ok ge\u00e7 de\u011fil miydi?\nEvet. De\u011fer miydi? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u0130\u015fte orada\nhay\u0131r, diyememek, Selen\u2019in elini kolunu ba\u011flayan zaaf\u0131yd\u0131. \u00d6yle a\u00e7t\u0131 ki\nYi\u011fit\u2019ten gelecek bir k\u0131r\u0131nt\u0131ya\u2026 Giderken bile olsa tad\u0131na bakmak istiyordu.\nHarakiri ise tamam. Onu da g\u00f6ze al\u0131yordu. Sadece biraz beklemeye ihtiyac\u0131\nvard\u0131. \u015eu ac\u0131 bir ge\u00e7sindi. O sat\u0131r g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00f6n\u00fcnden bir silinsindi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2018\u2026bir kez daha\norac\u0131kta \u00e2\u015f\u0131k oldum ona\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Bir kez daha.\nKa\u00e7 kere \u00e2\u015f\u0131k olunuyordu baz\u0131 kad\u0131nlara? Selen bunun tek bir tanesi i\u00e7in ruhunu\nverirdi. Ama onun pay\u0131na, ba\u015fka bir kad\u0131n i\u00e7in pek \u00e7ok kezleri okumak d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Birka\u00e7 dakikaya\nihtiyac\u0131 vard\u0131. Biraz nefes als\u0131nd\u0131\u2026 \u015eu g\u00f6zleri dolu dolu olmay\u0131 bir\nb\u0131raks\u0131nd\u0131\u2026 Sonra harakiri yapmaya devam edecekti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Cazc\u0131 doktor tam\nda o anda girdi odaya. Adam\u0131n sa\u011flam elinin kar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n aya\u011f\u0131nda oldu\u011funu g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc\nan, g\u00f6zleri parlad\u0131. Derhal d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p, hastabak\u0131c\u0131lara yata\u011f\u0131 pencere dibine\ndayamalar\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yledi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yata\u011f\u0131n yeri\nde\u011fi\u015ftirilirken kad\u0131n\u0131n kap\u0131dan d\u0131\u015far\u0131 s\u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f\u00fc \u00e7arpt\u0131 g\u00f6z\u00fcne, ard\u0131ndan\nmerdiven bo\u015flu\u011funa \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015f\u0131. \u00c7ok mutsuz g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyordu. Belki de adam kad\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7oktan\nkaybetmi\u015fti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Tabii ki ne adam\nne de kad\u0131n Nihat\u2019\u0131n umurunda de\u011fildi. O, sadece uyan\u0131k hastas\u0131n\u0131n pike alt\u0131na\nsaklay\u0131p durdu\u011fu fel\u00e7li koluyla ilgiliydi. Sanki g\u00f6rmezse, o kol fel\u00e7li\nolmayacakm\u0131\u015f gibi\u2026 Sanki ink\u00e2r etmek bir i\u015fe yararm\u0131\u015f gibi\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Y\u00fcz\u00fcnde e\u011freti\nbir g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemeyle sandalyeyi yata\u011f\u0131n yan\u0131na \u00e7ekti ve oturdu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cKar\u0131na dokunmay\u0131\nseviyorsun.\u201d Adam\u0131n \u00f6zeline giriyordu ve bundan ho\u015flanacak bir tip olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131\nda gayet iyi biliyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cMadem seni\ntaburcu etmiyoruz, o zaman kar\u0131na dokunmak istiyorsan, o kolu a\u00e7maya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fsan\niyi olur dostum. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bu hastanenin kral\u0131 benim ve burada kar\u0131na sadece fel\u00e7li\nkolunla dokunmana izin veriyorum. Birbirimizi anlad\u0131k m\u0131?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ve arkas\u0131nda\ng\u00f6zleri \u00f6fkeden koyula\u015fm\u0131\u015f bir adam b\u0131rakarak odadan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p gitti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Selen yeterince\nsakland\u0131\u011f\u0131na karar verip d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde, i\u00e7erideki de\u011fi\u015fiklik \u00f6yle anlams\u0131z geldi\nki\u2026 B\u00fct\u00fcn d\u00fczen bozulmu\u015ftu. Makineler kenarlara itilmi\u015f, bir k\u0131sm\u0131 kablolar\u0131\ns\u00f6k\u00fclerek duvara dayanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Perdeler ya da pencere istense de a\u00e7\u0131lmazd\u0131 art\u0131k.\nAma sandalyesini ve serum ask\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ellememi\u015flerdi. Selen\u2019e de sadece bu\nyeterdi. Serum ask\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131\u2026 Odada kendisine yak\u0131n buldu\u011fu tek \u015fey o ask\u0131l\u0131kt\u0131\n\u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yi\u011fit\u2019in fel\u00e7li\nkolu \u00e7arpt\u0131 birden g\u00f6z\u00fcne. Daha \u00f6nce neden dikkatini hi\u00e7 \u00e7ekmemi\u015fti ki?\nSelen\u2019in bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 yeri g\u00f6r\u00fcp di\u011fer eliyle \u00e7ar\u015faf\u0131 kolunun \u00fczerine \u00e7ekti adam.\nUtan\u0131yor muydu? Ama ge\u00e7ecekti, neden utan\u0131yordu ki? Ge\u00e7mese de \u00f6nemli de\u011fildi\nki?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u0130\u015fte tam da o\nanda, Yi\u011fit\u2019in ne hissetmi\u015f ve hissediyor olabilece\u011fini hi\u00e7 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmedi\u011fini fark\netti. Adam \u00f6l\u00fcmden d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Araba \u00fczerine gelirken \u2018\u00d6lmek i\u00e7in daha \u00e7ok\nerken,\u2019 demi\u015f miydi acaba? Korkmu\u015f muydu? \u2018Yapacak \u00e7ok \u015feyim var daha!\u2019 diye\nisyan etmi\u015f miydi? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Selen\u2019i bir daha\ng\u00f6remeyece\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f m\u00fcyd\u00fc acaba? D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcp \u00fcz\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f m\u00fcyd\u00fc? Yoksa akl\u0131ndaki tek\n\u015fey Zeyra m\u0131 olmu\u015ftu? Art\u0131k per\u015fembeleri ona gidemeyece\u011fi\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Per\u015fembe ak\u015fama\ndo\u011fru olmu\u015ftu kaza. Evin yak\u0131nlar\u0131nda\u2026 Parkta de\u011fil, biraz uza\u011f\u0131nda\u2026 Ondan d\u00f6n\u00fcyor\nolmal\u0131yd\u0131. D\u00f6n\u00fcyorsa, onunla kalm\u0131yorlar m\u0131yd\u0131? Ho\u015f fark eder miydi? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ederdi\u2026 \u00c7ok\nederdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ama en \u00e7ok fark\neden \u015fey, o an \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f olsa, Yi\u011fit\u2019in hayat\u0131n\u0131n son g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00fc Zeyra\u2019ya vermi\u015f oldu\u011fu\nger\u00e7e\u011fiydi\u2026 Selen\u2019e de\u011fil. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yi\u011fit\u2026 Kendisine\nbak\u0131yordu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ne vard\u0131\ng\u00f6zlerinde? Zeyra\u2019y\u0131 \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fini art\u0131k biliyordu. Gidece\u011fini de\u2026 Ne diyordu\nacaba i\u00e7inden? \u2018Gelmek i\u00e7in \u00e7ok \u0131srar ettin, gideceksen yolun a\u00e7\u0131k olsun\u2019 mu? O\nd\u00f6rt sene bu kadar m\u0131yd\u0131? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ama kay\u0131ts\u0131z\nbakm\u0131yordu ki. \u0130natla bak\u0131yordu. Anla\u015f\u0131lmak ister gibi. S\u00f6ylemediklerini\nSelen\u2019in duymas\u0131n\u0131 umar gibi\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00c7aba g\u00f6sterenin\nyine Selen olmas\u0131 gerekiyordu. Selen harakirisini yapacak, i\u00e7 organlar\u0131n\u0131\nelleriyle de\u015fip par\u00e7alayacak, Yi\u011fit\u2019i anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015facakt\u0131. Neden birisi de\n\u00e7\u0131k\u0131p Selen\u2019i anlamaya u\u011fra\u015fm\u0131yordu ki?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">U\u011fra\u015fmazd\u0131.\nSelen o l\u00fcksten tam d\u00f6rt sene \u00f6nce kendisi vazge\u00e7mi\u015fti. O zaman, \u015fimdi\nd\u00f6v\u00fcnmenin anlam\u0131 yoktu. Harakirisini yap\u0131p onuruyla d\u00fcnyadan ayr\u0131lmal\u0131yd\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Bilgisayar\u0131\nkuca\u011f\u0131na al\u0131p sandalyeye oturdu\u011funda yabanc\u0131l\u0131k hissetti\u011fi i\u00e7in g\u00fcld\u00fc kendine.\n\u0130nsan ne kadar \u00e7abuk al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu her \u015feye. Bir hastane odas\u0131ndaki sandalyenin\nyerine bile\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sistem a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131rken\nYi\u011fit\u2019in kendisini izleyen g\u00f6zleriyle kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fmaktan ka\u00e7\u0131nd\u0131. Zihninde hala o\nkelimeler varken, bal renkleri kendisine hi\u00e7 iyi gelmeyecekti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Kendisiyle dalga\nge\u00e7er gibi yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 sat\u0131rlar asl\u0131nda ne kadar ho\u015ftu. Yi\u011fit o d\u00f6rt adam\u0131n\naras\u0131nda d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fc duruma e\u011flenerek bakabilmi\u015fti. Erkeklerin ya\u015fad\u0131ktan sonra\nan\u0131nda hayatlar\u0131ndan silmeyi tercih edece\u011fi anlar\u0131, i\u015fe mizah da katarak\nyazabilmi\u015fti. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Mizah ve Yi\u011fit\u2026 Komikti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2018Ne yapt\u0131n sen o\ng\u00fczel adama Zeyra? Seni, kafas\u0131ndaki onca soru i\u015faretine ra\u011fmen bir hafta\nevinde kalas\u0131n diye aray\u0131p bulan o hayat dolu adama ne yapt\u0131n?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Adamlar\u0131n\ns\u00f6yledi\u011fimden mutlu olmad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 anlamam i\u00e7in y\u00fczlerine bakmam gerekmiyordu.\nZaten karanl\u0131kta bir \u015fey de g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fcyordu. Ama bedenleri ses \u00e7\u0131karmadan\nhomurdan\u0131yordu sanki. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Zeyra \u201cZamana\nh\u00fckmetmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmak \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fck duygusunu zedeleme riskini ta\u015f\u0131r. Sadece i\u00e7inde\nbulundu\u011fumuz dilim diyelim.\u201d dedi ve adamlara bakt\u0131\u2026 Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 e\u011fi\u015fi sessiz bir\nonayd\u0131. Benimle gidece\u011fini s\u00f6ylemi\u015fti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Elimdeki feneri,\n\u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6zlerimize gelmeyecek kadar havaya do\u011frulttum. Ortam iyice korku filmine\nd\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Koruma ya da\nde\u011fil, Zeyra\u2019y\u0131 \u00f6nemseyen bu insanlar\u0131n huzursuz olmas\u0131n\u0131 istemedi\u011fimden,\n\u201cBenim yan\u0131mda g\u00fcvende olacak,\u201d dedim. Biraz \u00f6nce kuyru\u011fumdan salland\u0131r\u0131lmakta\noldu\u011fum sahneyi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcp k\u0131s k\u0131s g\u00fcl\u00fcyor olabileceklerini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmemeye\n\u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordum. Ama nedense onlar\u0131 rahatlatmak istiyordum. Onlar rahat olursa,\nbizi de rahat b\u0131rak\u0131rlard\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cAd\u0131m Yi\u011fit.\nPark Yolu\u2019nda park\u0131n hemen kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndaki ev benim.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u0130\u00e7lerinden birsinin\nduygusuz bir sesle yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 konu\u015fmay\u0131 anlamam belli bir s\u00fcre ald\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cYi\u011fit \u00dcnsal.\nDo\u011fum 9 Ocak 1985. Melike ve Ahmet \u00dcnsal\u2019\u0131n tek \u00e7ocu\u011fu. Baba mimar, \u00dcnsal\nMimarl\u0131k Limited \u015eirketi\u2019nin sahibi, hayatta. Anne, ev kad\u0131n\u0131, 2005 y\u0131l\u0131nda\nkanserden ex. E\u011fitim Bilkent \u00dcniversitesi \u0130\u00e7 Mimari ve Tasar\u0131m. Diploma tarihi\n18 Haziran 2008 Notu 3.86. \u0130kamet adresi Park Yolu 22 numara. \u0130kamet ba\u015flang\u0131c\u0131\n19 Haziran 2008. \u0130\u015f yok. Uyu\u015fturucu yok. Sigara yok. Alkol ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 yok.\nSadece gece d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda kullan\u0131yor. S\u0131k g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fc arkada\u015flar Eren\n\u00d6zbilgin, \u00dcmit Kaptano\u011flu, Olgun S\u00fcren, Batuhan S\u00fcren. Son k\u0131z arkada\u015f Azra\nKorkut.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cDur bir\ndakika!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Deh\u015fet\ni\u00e7erisindeydim. Kekelemeden konu\u015fabilmem bile mucizeydi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cKimsiniz siz!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Zeyra\u2019n\u0131n elini\nkolumda hissetti\u011fimde d\u00f6n\u00fcp ona bakt\u0131m. Karanl\u0131kta, fenerin \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nda o bile\ng\u00f6z\u00fcme \u00fcrk\u00fct\u00fcc\u00fc g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cKorkma. Bilmek\ng\u00f6revleri.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Benim \u00f6zel\nhayat\u0131m kimin g\u00f6revi olabilirdi? Ne hadlerineydi? Yine de sesindeki\nyumu\u015fakl\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00fczerimde yat\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 etkisi olmu\u015ftu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cAzra Korkut kim?\nTan\u0131m\u0131yorum \u00f6yle birisini ben!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Bula bula bunu\nbulmu\u015ftum itiraz edecek. Ama ger\u00e7ekten tan\u0131m\u0131yordum o ismi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201c2008 20 Kas\u0131m\nile 18 Aral\u0131k tarihleri aras\u0131nda eve gelen kad\u0131n.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yuh! Ad\u0131 Azra\nm\u0131ym\u0131\u015f? Bunlar beni mi izliyorlard\u0131 yani? Ne zamandan beri? K\u0131za Eren\u2019in\nmasas\u0131nda denk gelmi\u015ftim. O da ona ilk defa o gece orada rastlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Soyad\u0131n\u0131\nEren bile bilmezken bunlar nas\u0131l bilebilirdi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Tedirgin olarak\nZeyra\u2019ya bakt\u0131m. O kad\u0131n\u0131n ismini ge\u00e7irmek ne kadar da gereksizdi. \u015eimdi trip\nyapmaya ba\u015flasa al ba\u015f\u0131na belay\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ama Zeyra trip\nyapmazd\u0131, de\u011fil mi? Sahi, neden yapm\u0131yordu? Neden di\u011fer k\u0131zlar gibi o da surat\nasm\u0131yor, hayat\u0131 bana zindan etmiyordu? Onunla sevgiliyken, g\u00f6z\u00fcne soka soka\nba\u015fka bir kad\u0131nla yatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Kinayeli tek bir c\u00fcmle etmemi\u015fti bunun i\u00e7in. Laf sokma,\nta\u015f atma, hatta arada mahzunla\u015fma bile yoktu. Benden \u00e7abuk unutmu\u015ftu. Ger\u00e7ekten\nunutmu\u015f muydu?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Kad\u0131nlar\nunutmazd\u0131. \u0130lgilenmiyor g\u00f6r\u00fcnseler bile kendilerinden \u00f6nce ka\u00e7 sevgiliniz\nolduysa hepsinin ac\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 bir \u015fekilde sizden \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131rlard\u0131. Do\u011fa kanunuydu bu.\nHi\u00e7bir kad\u0131n, kendisinden ba\u015fka bir kad\u0131n\u0131n varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kabullenmezdi. Eski bile\nolsa. Unutulmu\u015f bile olsa. \u00dczerinden y\u0131llar bile ge\u00e7se\u2026 Onlar i\u00e7in ge\u00e7mezdi.\nSanki hep hayat\u0131n i\u00e7indeymi\u015f gibi bir sorun olarak varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 korurdu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Her kad\u0131n, ilk\n\u00e2\u015f\u0131k oldu\u011funuz ki\u015finin kendisi olmas\u0131n\u0131 isterdi. Onunla kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fana kadar\nbeklememi\u015f olman\u0131z bir su\u00e7tu. O a\u015fk\u0131 ilkokulda bile ya\u015fam\u0131\u015f olsan\u0131z su\u00e7tu. Daha\n\u00f6nceden ba\u015fka bir ili\u015fkiniz, a\u015fk\u0131n\u0131z, beraberli\u011finiz, evlili\u011finiz oldu\u011funu\n\u00f6\u011frendi\u011fi andan itibaren sizin ili\u015fkinizin temeli oyulmaya ba\u015flard\u0131. Zaman\ni\u00e7inde de \u00e7\u00f6ker giderdi. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc kad\u0131n, do\u011fas\u0131 gere\u011fi ba\u015fka bir kad\u0131n\u0131n varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131\nasla ba\u011f\u0131\u015flamazd\u0131. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Zeyra\u2019n\u0131n da\n\u00f6nemsemez tav\u0131rlar\u0131na kanmamal\u0131yd\u0131m. Bir g\u00fcn, bir yerde bunun ac\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 benden\n\u00e7\u0131karacakt\u0131. O da b\u00fcy\u00fck ihtimalle en zay\u0131f an\u0131m olurdu. En can\u0131m\u0131n yanaca\u011f\u0131 an.\nVe galiba hakl\u0131 da olurdu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Konuyu derhal\nAzra Bilmem Kim\u2019den uzakla\u015ft\u0131rmam laz\u0131md\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cO zaman hadi\ni\u00e7inde bulundu\u011fumuz zaman dilimini ya\u015famaya gidelim.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ninjalardan\nbirinin ortada olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, elinde Zeyra\u2019n\u0131n paltosu, atk\u0131s\u0131 ve \u015fapkas\u0131yla\ngeldi\u011finde anlad\u0131m. K\u0131z\u0131n benimle geli\u015fini tart\u0131\u015fmay\u0131 hi\u00e7 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmemi\u015flerdi\ndemek. Zeyra ne s\u00f6ylerse kabul oluyordu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Getirdiklerini\ngiymesine yard\u0131m etmek i\u00e7in adam\u0131n elindekileri ald\u0131m. Benim k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131 ben\ngiydirirdim. Kimseye gerek yoktu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Benim k\u0131z\u0131m.\nZeyra\u2019m. Ben onun olmasam da o benimdi. Kim bilir? Belki bir g\u00fcn o da beni\nsahiplenirdi. Bunu ona ben \u00f6\u011fretirdim. Beni sevmeyi\u2026 Sahiplenmeyi\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Eve y\u00fcr\u00fcrken,\nelimin i\u00e7inde elinin varl\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00f6yle g\u00fczeldi ki. O an, seks de\u011fil, a\u015fk adam\u0131\noldu\u011fumu anlad\u0131m. \u00c2\u015f\u0131k olmak seks yapmaktan daha g\u00fczeldi. Seks bedeni, a\u015fk ruhu\ndoyuruyordu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Neydi k\u0131z\u0131n ad\u0131?\nOnunla ge\u00e7irdi\u011fim bir ay bo\u015fa harcanan zamand\u0131. Oysa Zeyra ile sadece el ele\ntutu\u015farak y\u00fcr\u00fcmek bile bana ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131, gen\u00e7 oldu\u011fumu, \u00f6n\u00fcmde uzun bir hayat\noldu\u011funu, yani ba\u015flang\u0131c\u0131 hissettiriyordu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ba\u015flamak g\u00fczel\nbir duyguydu. \u00c7ok \u015fey vaat ediyordu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Bir hayat\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Bir gelecek\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Mutluluk\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ama \u00f6yle\nolmuyordu i\u015fte. Kimse kimseye sahiplenmeyi ya da sevmeyi \u00f6\u011fretemiyordu. Sen\nseviyorsun diye kimse seni sevmiyordu. Elma bile sevmiyordu seni. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yi\u011fit\u2019in\ng\u00f6zleriyle birle\u015fti Selen\u2019in bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131. A\u011fz\u0131ndan fark etmeden d\u00f6k\u00fcld\u00fc Naz\u0131m\u2019\u0131n\no en sevdi\u011fi dizeleri.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Tahir<br>olmak da ay\u0131p de\u011fil Z\u00fchre olmak da <br>hatta sevda y\u00fcz\u00fcnden \u00f6lmek de ay\u0131p de\u011fil, <br>b\u00fct\u00fcn i\u015f Tahir\u2019le Z\u00fchre olabilmekte <br>yani y\u00fcrekte.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Mesel\u00e2<br>bir barikatta d\u00f6v\u00fc\u015ferek <br>mesel\u00e2 kuzey kutbunu ke\u015ffe giderken <br>mesel\u00e2 denerken damarlar\u0131nda bir serumu <br>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00f6lmek ay\u0131p olur mu?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Tahir<br>olmak da ay\u0131p de\u011fil Z\u00fchre olmak da <br>hatta sevda y\u00fcz\u00fcnden \u00f6lmek de ay\u0131p de\u011fil.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Seversin<br>d\u00fcnyay\u0131 doludizgin <br>ama o bunun fark\u0131nda de\u011fildir <br>ayr\u0131lmak istemezsin d\u00fcnyadan <br>ama o senden ayr\u0131lacak <br>yani sen elmay\u0131 seviyorsun diye <br>elman\u0131n da seni sevmesi \u015fart m\u0131? <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Yani Tahir\u2019i Z\u00fchre sevmeseydi art\u0131k <br> yahut hi\u00e7 sevmeseydi <br> Tahir ne kaybederdi Tahirli\u011finden?Tahir olmak da ay\u0131p de\u011fil Z\u00fchre olmak da <br> hatta sevda y\u00fcz\u00fcnden \u00f6lmek de ay\u0131p de\u011fil.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\"><nav aria-label=\"Page navigation\" class=\"text-center\"><ul class=\"pagination pagination-sm justify-content-center\"><li class=\"page-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-1\/\" class=\"page-link icon-link\">&laquo;<\/a><\/li><li class=\"page-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-41\/\" class=\"page-link icon-link\">&lsaquo;<\/a><\/li><li class=\"page-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-38\/\" class=\"page-link\">38<\/a><\/li><li class=\"page-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-39\/\" class=\"page-link\">39<\/a><\/li><li class=\"page-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-40\/\" class=\"page-link\">40<\/a><\/li><li class=\"page-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-41\/\" class=\"page-link\">41<\/a><\/li><li class=\"page-item active\"><span class=\"page-link\">42<\/span><\/li><li class=\"page-item disabled\"><span class=\"page-link icon-link\">&rsaquo;<\/span><\/li><li class=\"page-item disabled\"><span class=\"page-link icon-link\">&raquo;<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-8f761849 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-17\">\u2190<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"has-text-align-right wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-19\">\u2192<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Yutkundu. Defalarca yutkundu. Yi\u011fit\u2019in a\u015fk\u0131n\u0131 yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 sat\u0131rlar\u0131 okuman\u0131n kendisini parampar\u00e7a etti\u011fini belli etmek istemedi Selen. D\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kmak i\u00e7in h\u00fccum eden ya\u015flar\u0131 inatla bekletti. Okumaya devam edecekse, kalbini nas\u0131rla\u015ft\u0131rmak zorundayd\u0131. Peki devam edecek miydi? Ve neden? Okuyacaklar\u0131n\u0131 merak ediyordu, evet. Ama bu, harakiri yapmakla e\u015fde\u011ferdi. De\u011fer miydi? Hay\u0131r. Yi\u011fit istemi\u015fti. Oku demi\u015fti. Onu ilk kez \u00f6zeline &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"><a class=\"readmore-btn\" href=\"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/persembe\/persembe-bolum-42\/\">+<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">  Read More<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1137,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1191","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-persembe"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1191","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1191"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1191\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3729,"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1191\/revisions\/3729"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1191"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1191"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yesimcim.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1191"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}